Hearts Like Ice
by Alome Fenwinkle
Summary: Warning, only read if you have read City of Lost Souls. This is pretty much a fanfic to get my anger out about the ending. I was legit pissed and had to write something. Rated T for kissing. Malec


_WARNING- THIS IS A FANFIC FOR THOSE WHO HAVE FINISHED CITY OF LOST SOULS, THOSE WHO HAVEN'T WILL BE GREATLY CONFUSED AND THEREFORE THE FANFIC WILL NOT HAVE THE SAME EFFECT IT IS INTENDED FOR. PLEASE DO NOT READ UNLESS YOU WANT SPOILERS-THOUGH I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU WOULD-BUT THANK YOU FOR LOOKING AT MY FANFIC ANYWAYS. oh, and I do not own anyone or anything, Cassandra Claire does... ~Shi-chan_

* * *

Alec lay in his own bed, back at the Institute. It was Saturday and he hadn't changed his clothes from yesterday, a black long sleeved-T and jeans that hugged his legs the way Magnus liked. Well, did like.

His stomach made a noise, reminding him he hadn't eaten in two days. He sighed and ignored it, rolling onto his side and curling up. A knock came at his door, impatient and hard. He ignored that as well.

"Alec! Open the door!" It was Izzy and she sounded angry. Alec sighed and wrapped his arms around himself, feeling cold even though he was under three layers of blankets. The door knob rattled as he closed his eyes tightly, trying to block out what was going on around him.

"Go away!" He finally shouted, turning his face so his words fell against his pillow. He didn't feel like facing anybody with the way he felt.

It had been close to a week since Magnus had broke things off. Alec had played it off like nothing ever happened and tried to smile past the pain. But then when he saw all the couples around him, he couldn't take it. Jace and Clary. Simon and Izzy, Jordan and Maia.

They were all happy. They had someone to love.

The door shook under Izzy's kicks and constant pounding of her fist. She was getting really angry Alec could tell. He groaned and sat up, brushing his long hair from his face as the knob rattled loudly.

"Alec! By the Angel!" Izzy finally screamed, the door giving under her final kick. It slammed against the wall and made Alec jump for a moment. His sister strode in, dressed for the day. Her midnight hair braided back, a tight sweater that hugged her curves along with the leggings that ended with her heeled black boots. She was beautiful and radiant as she glared down at her brother. "What is with you? We're all going out for the day and you decide to act like a hermit."

"Nothing, I'm just tired," he lied. He folded his scared hands in his lap, looking at his long, elegant fingers as they wrapped around each other.

"Well get dressed and come down stairs, we're waiting for you." Izzy ordered, going to his closet and pulled out various outfits. She went through most of the fabric before stopping and picking what she deemed was appropriate. "Here, put this on after a shower and get down there." She flung the clothes into his lap and went to the door that was just barely hanging on by its hinges. "We're going to Magnus's later too, so look nice." She winked before disappearing into the hallway.

His empty stomach felt like a chunk of ice had settled into it. He didn't tell anyone of the break up after he came back. Of course she thought everything was all fine with their relationship.

Alec stood, gathering the clothes Izzy had gave him into his arms. He swallowed and trudged to the shower, locking the door behind him. He turned the water as hot as it would go, filling the room up with steam. He hurried under the water, hissing as it burned against his skin. It felt good, tingeing his pale skin to a bright red as he stood there. It felt like hours before he turned off the water and stepped out, shivering.

He dried off quickly and pulled on his clothes; a dark blue v-neck that showed off his collar bone and tight black jeans that felt snug against his skin. The mirror was fogged as he looked into it, his hand coming down on the smooth surface to make a somewhat clear picture of his face.

His pale blue eyes looked empty and void, ringed by dark moons that hung under them. Black strands of hair plastered themselves to his sunken cheeks, his pale lips pinched tight as he looked over his appearance. There was no way that anyone wouldn't notice his tired look and question his well being.

But then again, he managed to act happy for a week without anyone asking. _So why would now make a difference?_ He asked himself, rolling his shoulders to loosen them up. He stopped and braced his hands against the marble counter of the sink. _Because I didn't need to see Magnus face to face until now…_

He snapped back to reality and grabbed his clothes and towel, hurrying out of the bathroom before he suffocated himself with his thoughts. Quickly, he threw his things onto his bed and grabbed his stele and holder before rushing out and down to meet his sister. Shoving his stele into its holder, he busted out into the sunlight and glared up at the sky.

"There he is," Jace laughed. His smooth voice almost easing the tension from Alec's shoulder as he jumped down the steps to meet them. Jace had his arm wrapped around Clary's waist tentatively; almost afraid she would alight with fire at his touch. Alec was almost jealous of her, being with the first boy he had fallen in love with, sometimes it stung to watch them.

"Yeah, here I am," Alec smiled, feeling his lips stretch unnaturally. "Hope I didn't make you wait long."

"Oh, only for about two hours or so, but since your Izzy's brother I'll let it slide." Simon shrugged his shoulders, giving a smirk as Alec frowned slightly. Izzy elbowed him in the ribs, making him double over slightly. "I-I mean, we didn't wait long at." He wheezed as Izzy smiled.

"Now that we're all here, let's go. Jordan and Maia are going to meet us up at the park for a picnic lunch." Clary said with laughter in her voice as she curled closer to Jace, her hand pressed lightly to his chest. He dipped his head lower, his fingers tangling into her fiery, red hair.

Alec felt a wave of nausea roll over him from head to toe. Everything was spinning for a moment as he tried to focus on moving his feet forward. A hand caught his shoulder, grabbing his focus. He looked up quickly, finding a worried Jace holding him up. "Are you alright?" He whispered between them while Clary, Izzy, and Simon walked ahead. "You seem sick."

"No, no, I'm fine," Alec said hastily, "I'm fine." He flashed a small smile and hoped it would be enough to get Jace off his back.

Jace eyed him, golden irises dancing in the sun that shone down on them. His full lips stayed flat as he took in Alec's response. His blonde hair blew across his tan skin, shading his eyes for a moment. "If you say so," he finally sighed. He went to catch up with Clary, sliding his arm around once more, almost like it always belonged there.

Alec squinted at the group in front of him, a happy bunch of couples, acting like couples do. He was the odd one out. He shoved his hands in his pockets sullenly, not wanting anyone to notice how empty it made him feel as he slowly walked behind them. Every once in a while he noticed Jace would turn and look at him, giving him a quizzical look before going back to laugh at something Clary had said.

* * *

Everything seemed like it was almost normal for Alec. He talked with Jace and Simon while Clary and Izzy looked at clothes. They laughed and cracked jokes but Alec could still feel the ice sliding through his veins as Jace glanced at Clary every so often.

By noon they had made their way to the park, meeting Jordan and Maia by the water's edge. They laid out a blanket and put the food out, trying to keep bugs away as they all began to take what they wanted. Alec sat near the edge of the blanket, his stomach rumbling but his appetite gone.

_It would only be a few hours before I would see Magnus again._ He thought, biting his lip as he heard the ringing of laughter. Izzy sat down next to him, breaking his thoughts. She was chewing on a sandwich and had a glass of lemonade in one hand.

"Why aren't you eating?" She asked after swallowing. "You don't look too good. Maybe I shouldn't have dragged you out." She muttered to herself as she placed her free hand across his forehead. "You don't have a fever."

"I'm fine Iz, just not up to eating right now." Alec said half-heartedly, pulling her hand from his head. Her skin was soft and scared, reminding him of his own.

"I bet it's because Magnus isn't with us. He said he couldn't walk with us now, but he'd meet with us later for tea." Izzy shrugged, feeling like she had found the source of the problem. "I'm sure you'll feel better then." She grinned.

"Yeah, I'm sure," he repeated her words back.

"Hey, Alec, want some lemonade?" Jordan called from the other side of the blanket, holding up a pitcher with lady bugs printed over its surface. "Maia made it herself!" He added proudly as Maia blushed.

"I'm fine," Alec said. He gave a reassuring smile as Jace glared at him from where he sat with Clary and Simon.

"Alright, suit yourself." Jordan poured himself some lemonade and gently tapped his cup against Maia's. Some of the liquid spilled over the edge and onto their fingers, but they only laughed and licked the lemonade away.

Alec nodded to himself as Izzy went to sit next to Simon, nestling herself against his shoulder. Simon didn't seem to mind at all, his hand coming around her back to rest on her hip. It was as if they knew each other's movements, flowing like one person instead of one.

The sound of the water hitting the sand made Alec's mind wander, leaving him to himself as he tried to focus on something besides Magnus.

* * *

After the picnic, Jordan and Maia went their separate ways from the group, leaving the five of them. Alec's stomach was a knot buried in snow, his hands shaking as he stuffed them into his pockets. His heart felt like it was about to burst from his chest, his eyes stinging as they were nearing Magnus's apartment. It was only a minute walk from where they were and it felt like an eternity as they made their way.

By the time they were at the front of the building, Alec backed away from the group. Jace turned, his lips pressed into a tight line as he stared at Alec. "What's wrong?" He asked, for what seemed like the millionth time that day.

"Nothing," he said hotly. "I just forgot something back at the Institute. I need to go back and get it." He turned on his heels, ready to break out in a sprint when a hand grabbed his arm. He looked over his shoulder, finding a bronzed hand clamped over his shirt, wrinkling the soft fabric.

"You guys go ahead; I need to talk to Alec." Jace said with a light tone, smiling at Clary who nodded. "Go on ahead, we'll meet you upstairs."

"Alrighty then," Simon agreed. He followed Clary and Izzy into the building, waving to the two boys before he was completely gone.

Jace waited for a moment before he spoke, his voice coming out even and low. "I don't know what's wrong with you, but you have to tell me now before I go to Magnus and find out myself." His golden gaze bored into Alec's terrified eyes as he talked.

"I-"

"Alexander, don't you _dare_ lie to me," he snapped.

Alec tried to swallow but his throat was tight as he tried to think. When he did open his mouth the only sound that came out was a sob. He doubled over, crouching down as he wrapped his arms around his stomach, tears burning his eyes. "I don't want to see his face."

"You what?" Jace lowered himself so he could look his brother in the eye. "What are you talking about?" He asked making his voice quiet.

"I did something terrible-Or I thought about it anyways, and Magnus found out… He dumped me and said it was over-That he couldn't trust me anymore." Alec blurted between sobs, his stomach was a sharp pain now, making him gasp when he finished. "I wanted to be with him forever!" He shouted so loud it rang in his ears over and over again. His lips quivered as his whole body convulsed, his eyes stinging as he looked up at Jace who had a poker face. "I just wanted to love him forever… Is that so wrong?" His voice hoarse as he whispered.

Jace, taken off guard by Alec's crying, looked at him with a soft gaze. He gave a sad smile and pulled the thin boy into a hug, feeling him shake under his arms. Alec's hands dug into his sides, so much that it seemed like he was bleeding through his shirt. "You did nothing wrong, you were just trying to be with the one you loved." Jace soothed, petting down Alec's black hair that had been tousled by his crying. "There's nothing wrong with that."

"I already lost Max," Alec hiccupped. "We almost lost you and who knows if Izzy will be here after a battle, same goes for my family. I-I just thought I could save the one thing in my life that I cared about. If I could just stay with Magnus, then maybe this wouldn't hurt so much-Watching you all get hurt."

"Shh, I understand, I do." Jace quieted him, his sharp eyes staring off into the distance over Alec's head. "I know what it's like to want to be with someone forever. It's hard, seeing them get hurt and beaten. You just think that since you love them, they'll survive anything."

Alec made a noise, his crying stopped but his eyes still watered. "I can't see him anymore. If I see him… I don't know what I'll do."

"Just don't start stripping," Jace joked. Alec gave a weak laugh, almost like the shaking of a tree branch in the wind. "You're going to have face him at some point, you know that right? Why not start now, show him you're still the strong, handsome boy he fell for."

"That was _Will_," Alec spat his name like venom. "I'm just some weak Shadowhunter he happened to find interesting."

"Stop that," his voice was harsh. He pushed Alec away to look him straight in the eye. "You are amazing, I should know, you've saved my ass plenty of times." Alec looked away, his head lowered. When he didn't look back up, Jace sighed impatiently. "Look, I don't know what else to say besides go up there and shove it in his face that you're still alive and over him. At least don't give him the satisfaction of seeing you down."

Alec glanced up through his long eyelashes, wiping his nose with the back of his sleeve quickly. "Can you come with me?" He asked weakly.

"Of course," he smiled. "I need to meet Clary anyways." He stood, holding out a hand for his brother. "Come on; let's go rub it in his warlock face that you're awesome." Alec's slender fingers slipped into Jace's palm, a sign that he was steady. "Of course, we might want to wash your face before you walk through the door, you look like you smacked into a wall."

Alec nodded absently, wiping his face clean. _I did smack into a wall_, he thought to himself, _a wall called heartbreak_.

* * *

When they reached Magnus's door, Alec leaned against the wall and tried to steady his breathing. Jace waited calmly, his hand on the doorknob, waiting for his brother. Alec gave a loud sigh and stood, his hands shaking slightly. "Alright," he whispered.

Jace opened the door and walked in like he owned the place while Alec slunk behind, his head lowered like a puppy in trouble. Chairman Meow came up and rubbed his face against his dark jeans, purring loudly. Alec couldn't help but smile as he reached down to scratch the cat behind his ear gently.

He noticed the apartment was oddly bare, just a few things here and there. Books were strewn across the floor, papers and pens sticking up from odd angles. Chairman Meow gave one last purr before going off into another room where chatter was bubbling up from. Jace had already walked away, leaving Alec to conquer his fears.

Alec sucked in one last breath before walking into the room, his mouth tight and his eyes alert. Izzy caught him out of the corner of her eye; she faced him with a smile plastered on her face. "Alec, hey, what took you guys so long?"

"Nothing just had to grab something." He explained without thinking, he gave a quick look to Jace who winked and sat down next to Clary who gladly cuddled against him. He finally noticed the room wasn't as exciting as it should have been. "Where's Magnus," he asked. His heart jolted at saying his name, his eyes already stinging again.

"He went to grab more snacks, but he's been gone for a while now." Simon explained, sipping his tea as he tried not to make a face. "You would think someone like Magnus would know not to let a party get boring."

"This is not a party," Izzy sighed jokingly. "He's been through a lot these past few weeks; we at least owe him a quiet meeting." Her eyes slid to Alec who froze. "Right, Alec?"

"Yeah," his mouth was dry as he spoke, "he does."

"Maybe you should go see what he's up to? I think he would be happy to see you after all this time." Clary put in, her kind smile cutting Alec's heart to ribbons. "He seemed shocked that you weren't with us," she turned to Jace, "you as well."

"Well I didn't know he loved me so much." Jace started to laugh but winced and looked at Alec who, though it seemed impossible, seemed even paler. His blue eyes shining as they looked around the room.

"I think I might go home, I don't feel so well after all." Alec muttered, moving backwards to reach for the door, but his shoulder slammed into something. "Sor-" He started but his heart leapt into his throat, cutting off his words.

Magnus stared down at him, a curl in his lips that matched the twinkle in his cat-like eyes. His black hair was spiked back, but some loose strands fell into his face. Purple glitter covered him from head to toe, his purple jacket tight on his muscles as he flexed his arms. His legs tightly wrapped in what seemed like blue leather, matching his leather boots that thudded heavily against the floor. "Alexander, I didn't think you would grace me with your presence."

"I was just leaving-" He stuttered but Magnus placed his hand on the small of his back, pushing him towards the couches.

"No, you must stay," he said. His voice had a tone to it but Alec couldn't put his finger to it. It was almost as if he was shoving his freedom in Alec's face. "Now why don't we start chatting about how we're doing? I must know about Simon's social life." Sarcasm was heavy in his speech.

"It's the only life I have left," Simon shrugged, "at least when you're dead it is."

Everyone gave a laugh but Magnus and Alec who were both standing awkwardly. Alec sat next to Jace who touch his hand briefly, trying to give him courage as Magnus strutted by, glitter trailing. "Now that Simon has made his joke of the day, how are you Jonathan, have the Silent Brothers stopped prodding you?" His attention turned to Jace and his golden aura.

"So far, but they'll be back to test me out some more. Until then I'm just trying to get back to my normal life." Jace pulled Clary close, almost onto his lap.

"What normal life?" Clary asked, scoffing, but she was smiling all the same.

"True," Jace smirked.

Magnus made a face and turned to Izzy who sipped on her tea. "And how are you, Isabelle?" He propped his chin up on his one hand while the other tapped restlessly against his leg.

"I'm fine actually," she shrugged, "I've been better of course." She took another sip of her tea, her eyes closing for a moment as she swallowed. "What kind of tea is this? It's delicious."

"It is?" Simon interjected, sniffing his own cup carefully.

Magnus raised a glittery eyebrow, turning his greenish-yellow eyes to Alec. "I bought it from a very nice man-Handsome actually." His words were chosen to make him squirm and that they did. "He knows the good stuff and he likes to give it to his favorite customers… for a _discount_ of course."

Alec shot up to his feet, almost tripping over the coffee table as he rushed for the door.

"Alec? Where are you going?" Izzy hurried to follow after but Jace was already there before she could even stand.

"I-I need some air, I don't feel good." He mumbled reaching for the knob, but his hand missed. He tried again, his vision blurring as he tried to steady himself.

"Just calm down," Jace breathed. He put his hand on his brother's shoulder but he shook him off. "Alec."

"I-I really-Just need-Outside," he spouted. His words rushed together, his head spinning along with the room around him.

"Alec, maybe you should lie down," Izzy's voice cut through the dizziness.

"Yeah, you look really pale Alec," Clary was there too. "Magnus, do you have a place where he could lay down?"

"No!" Alec shouted, trying for the knob again. His body shifted, his eyes closing as the spinning became too much. His legs gave out and he crashed down into someone's arms. He looked up wearily, hoping to find Jace's face.

Magnus's golden eyes stared down at him with actually worry. He could hear a soft whispering of words before the world darkened around him. "Alexander, what have you done?"

He let himself be swallowed by the blackness, his body floating through nothing. He laughed at himself, thinking of what Magnus had asked. _What have I done?_ He thought bitterly. _I fell in love with you._

* * *

It felt like the world had stopped as Alec opened his eyes slowly. The curtains were drawn over the window so only a slant of light could break into the room. The silky comforters and scent of flowers mixed with sulfur gave away that it was Magnus's room. He tried to sit up but pain pounded furiously against his temple, making him fall back to the overly stuffed pillows.

Footsteps pounded outside the door along with the sounds of clinking plates. Alec shut his eyes tightly, hoping it would seem like he was asleep. He could hear the door creak open and click shut, then more footsteps. His heart pounded in his chest as they stopped right next to the bed.

"Alexander you are not fooling anyone," Magnus's voice sighed in his ear. "I brought you food." When Alec opened his eyes, Magnus was putting down a tray with a bowl of something hot. His back was turned to him, but his appearance had changed.

His hair was down and dripping, brushing his strong shoulders. He was down to a black tank and pajama bottoms, so unlike the dazzling Magnus Alec knew. He noticed the staring and looked over his shoulder, his eyes hard. "I cannot believe a Shadowhunter like you would treat your body so terribly. When was the last time you ate?" He questioned quickly, his voice no softer than his glare.

"Thursday," Alec mumbled. He flinched as Magnus threw his hands in the air dramatically.

"You are more trouble than I thought," he growled to himself. "You're lucky I'm even letting you rest here."

"Why are you?" Alec gripped the silk comforter in his fists, squeezing tightly. "Why are you taking care of me when you hate me?" His voice was small, barely coming out in a whisper.

Magnus looked away, running an elegant hand through his hair. "I do not _hate_ you," he insisted.

"Then why?" Alec's throat closed painfully. "Then why did you leave me? You knew how sorry I was for what I did." He croaked, his hands shaking now.

"I cannot trust you, that is why. You went behind my back to see Camille and possibly end my life. You don't know what it felt like to learn all this from a woman I-" He stopped himself before he could finish the sentence, knowing it was already out there. "I just can't handle your thinking process."

Alec lowered his head, but he still spoke. "No, you _don't_ know what it feels like." He looked up through his lashes as they casted long shadows down his slender cheeks. "Knowing every day I grow older, weaker, while you stay here, in this endless life. I wanted to be with you forever, to have you by my side." His eyes burned as the words he always wanted to say were being said. "I thought about it, but I _never_ did anything to put you in danger. I knew I could never be with you forever. I was just going to live as long as I could until you couldn't take me anymore."

"I left you because you _did_ think about it. Never once did you come to me and ask me what I thought." Magnus sat on the edge of the bed, his silhouette shining from the fair light. "You went out and asked a woman, who I now hate, for advice, she's a dangerous woman and she'll do anything for power."

Alec went silent, remembering the last night he went to her. "She's dead," he whispered.

"What? Speak up," Magnus ordered.

"She's dead… Camille is dead. The rogue vampire that has been running around-She killed Camille." Alec finally looked up to Magnus who held nothing in his face. His eyes flickered briefly with pain and then relief as he rested his elbows on his knees. "I just thought you should know…"

"I suppose it would have happened eventually." Magnus brushed off his concern quickly, waving his fingers. "I'm sure I'll die someday as well. Just a matter of time."

"But I'll be gone before then," Alec muttered. He curled his legs up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. He buried his face as tears streamed down, feeling like they were burning his skin. "You'll still be here."

"Alec," his voice lowered.

He felt a hand touch his fingers lightly, but he pulled away, his face still hidden. "I love you-I love you and I hate what I did. I know you don't want to see me, but please, _please_ just tell me you still love me." His throat was raw, his eyes blurred with tears. "It's the only thing keeping me alive right now. Just the thought that you still love me helps."

When there was no reply, he choked on a sob, his body lurching as his heart shatter. It felt like individual pieces were digging themselves into his chest, the pain spreading. His hands shook as they fell from his legs, hitting the bed without a sound. He uncurled his legs and kept his face turned so he wouldn't have to look at Magnus. "I'm leaving," he muttered. When he threw his legs over the side of the bed, the room tilted but he ignored it. "I won't come back, I promise."

As he stood his legs gave out almost immediately and he dropped to the floor. His palms thudded against the hardwood, his skin stinging from the contact. He brushed off the dust from his jeans and stood again, going slowly so he wouldn't fall. He pressed one hand against the wall and shuffled towards the door.

"You plan on walking the streets like that all the way to the Institute?" Magnus was angry, Alec could tell by the huffy tone. "At least let me portal you there."

"No! I don't want to be near you anymore." Alec clenched his hands, his body leaning forward. "I want to be alone."

"You'll get over me eventually Alexander, you don't have to drag this out." Magnus stood, crossing his arms as he went to him. "I'm just one fish in this gigantic, polluted ocean."

Alec's whole body was shaking as he glared at the warlock with red-rimmed eyes. "You really don't understand, do you?" He barked out a laugh and faced him head on. "You never really loved me at all! I was just another-Another _Will_ in your life. Just a passing fling until I die off or something!" His cheeks shone from the tears that stained his skin. "If you wanted a fling, you should have found somebody else. I thought you actually cared about me, but you just dragged me along-"

"_Alexander!_" A sharp pain planted itself on his face as Magnus shook out his hand. The slap felt like the final blow and Alec just rubbed it gently with his hand. "Don't you _ever_ speak like that again! Otherwise I will trap you with the demons!"

Both men looked at each other, one with anger and the other with confusion. Alec closed his eyes, trying to calm his heart down as he dropped his hand from his face. Magnus pursed his lips and looked away, crossing his arms once again. When Alec made a move for the door, Magnus flicked his fingers, blue sparks flying. The lock on the door snapped shut and Alec tried helplessly to open it. "Let me out," he said pathetically.

"No, look at me," Magnus replied almost immediately.

"Just let me out-"

"I said: _Look. At. Me. Alexander_." His volume went up as he waited impatiently. His boot tapped against the floor loudly, creating a rhythmic _thump_ing. "I'm not getting any younger here."

"You're not getting any older either," Alec snapped. He spun on his heels, his mouth set in a rigid line as he focused his eyes away from the golden ones that stared. "What do you want from me?" He cried with the chords in his neck straining.

"I want you to listen," Magnus said calmly now. His softened his gaze and stepped closer to the younger boy, his hand reaching out. Alec pulled away, hiding his hands behind his back. Magnus sighed a tired sigh as he rubbed his temple. "Alec, I want you to listen closely to the words I am saying. Afterwards you can decide yourself if you want to go and act like a suicidal maniac and pass out in the streets of New York."

Alec just stared with frigid blue eyes.

"I love you Alec and that will probably never change. No matter how angry I get at you, I still find myself loving you. But in this world we live in, you being a Shadowhunter, and me a warlock. Something is bound to happen where one of us will be gone for good." He watched as Alec's body physically reacted to his words. His lips quivered and his hands shook as they came up to cover his mouth. Tears poured over, new and fresh as they slid between slender fingers. "I just wanted this to be over so that way I wouldn't have to say goodbye later, under different circumstances. You got a taste of that during the battle with Sebastian; I didn't want it to happen again."

Alec shook his head, making a noise from the back of his throat. Magnus grabbed his hand, holding it up to his lips as he spoke again. "Alec, please save me the pain of saying goodbye and forget about me-_Us_. But please, know that I loved you, and that even now, I still do." His breath hit Alec's skin, making him shiver. "You won't regret it."

"I will _always_ regret it. I will always look back and see your face. Magnus please, I don't want to leave. I never want to say goodbye. I will _never_ say it as long as we're together." Alec sobbed, feeling different tears as Magnus closed his own eyes. A single drop fell from his cheek, hitting Alec's finger. "I just want to be with you and I don't care how long that is, because every time I'm with you… I feel like I could die happy."

At this Magnus lifted his head, his golden eyes opening and finding icy blue ones staring boldly into his. He couldn't help but smile at the determination on his face, the tears that slid like rivers down his tinted cheeks. His black hair was all over, wild and unruly as he stood there in front of him.

"You really feel that way? That I truly make you happy," Magnus whispered. He inched closer, only a foot of space between them left.

"Of course," Alec coughed, "you always have." He could feel the heat from Magnus's skin roll off and hit him in waves, melting the ice under his skin. "So please, don't say goodbye just yet."

"Alexander, I don't know how," Magnus murmured, "but you always seem to find a way to make me fall madly in love with you all over again." He cupped Alec's cheek with his palm, brushing his thumb over his skin to wipe the tears away. "I suppose I could say "See you later" instead." He smirked as a laugh bubbled its way out of Alec.

"D-Does this mean…" Alec's eyes shone as they looked up at Magnus who leaned closer, his hair mixing with Alec's.

"You've managed to win my heart again, but if you ever go to one of my ex's again to ask about my immortality, I will break up with you _permanently_." He frowned for a moment, gauging the boy's reaction. "Understand?"

Alec broke out into a smile, his arms wrapping themselves around Magnus's neck tightly. "Yes, yes, I completely understand." He cried out happily, his fingers tangling in Magnus's shirt. "Yes, thank you, thank you so much Magnus. I love you, _I love you_," he whimpered into his neck, his face pressed into his chest. He wanted to hear his heartbeat, slow and calm, the one he loved to listen to like a song.

Magnus held Alec close to him, finding his chest not as tight as it was before. He let go of the boy for a moment, looking him in the eye. "You need to lie down, I don't think all this crying and fighting is good for your health." He warned gently but there was a glint in his eye.

"Will you lie down with me?" Alec asked innocently, as if nothing had happened minutes earlier.

Magnus smirked and kissed him quickly, softly on the lips. "Of course."

Magnus went to his bed and lay down under the covers, waiting for Alec who followed closely. He slipped in after, nestling right into the curve of the warlock's arm. His head rested in the crook of his neck, his lips at his exposed collar bone.

"I missed this," Alec murmured. His hands played with the fabric of Magnus's shirt, twisting and pulling it as he tried to count how many times he breathed. He looked up slowly, their eyes connecting. "I missed you."

Magnus couldn't help himself; he dipped down and kissed him, harder this time. Alec was reluctant at first, but kissed back with equal passion, the shirt forgotten. They stayed like that for what seemed like hours, their lips connect as their hands found each other and intertwined fingers. Alec broke away first, in need for air as he took in Magnus with bright eyes. "I _really_ missed you."

Magnus pressed his lips to the boy's forehead, closing his eyes. "I missed you too," he sighed against his soft skin. There was a soft scratch at the door and a loud, crying meow. Magnus laughed and moved his fingers in the door's direction. Alec watched the sparks shoot from his finger tips as the door opened slowly.

Chairman Meow trotted in, grumpy at being locked out. He jumped onto the bed and settled between Magnus and Alec's legs. He yawned and licked his paw, tail swishing happily at their elbows.

"I suppose I should call and tell Isabelle you're alive and well." Magnus shifted but Alec gripped his arm. "Yes?" He looked down, an eyebrow raised elegantly.

"Stay with me for now. Call her later," he stated. There was a certain fear that crept into his voice as he let go of the warlock's arm. "Just stay with me while I sleep."

Magnus pretended to mull it over, scratching at his chin with his perfect nails. "Well, I don't know if your sister would like that." He said aloud, glancing at Alec for a response.

Alec stayed quiet his head still against the pillow and his black hair spilled out underneath him like a pool of water. His eyes, wide as the moon and just as pale shimmered as he stared at his lover, his full lips slightly open as if to speak. His skin was pale and flushed from the kissing, making him have a breathless look about him. "Please," was all he said.

Magnus shivered at his pleading voice, something shifting inside him. He moved his body so it curved around Alec's almost like a wall to protect him. He didn't move as Alec changed his position, his back to Magnus's stomach, and his head just under his chin. Their hands found each other again and laced together. "I love you," he suddenly said. He felt Alec relax at his words, as if he was still waiting for Magnus to kick him out.

Alec pressed closer to the warlock, his cheeks slightly burning as he smiled. "I love you too."

"I know you do," Magnus smiled as well. His lips fit against the curve of Alec's neck that was exposed to him. Alec made a noise but didn't protest to his kissing. Magnus was overwhelmed by the scent of the boy, sweat, sandalwood, and almost a sweet scent that always seemed to linger. He sighed and realized how much he missed the smell, pulling Alec closer against him.

Magnus figured no matter how many times Alec would mess up, he would still take him back. The boy was still naïve and dense about love, but then again, this was his first real relationship and Magnus had a whole textbook of romances.

Although this, he realized, was true love. And there was no book that could tell you how to spot it or if you found the one. Only time would tell.

And for Magnus and Alec… They seemed to have all the time in the world.

* * *

_Alrighty then, that was muh ending to City of Lost Souls because the real ending pissed me off and I felt like Alec and Magnus needed a chance to reconnect and not get all huffy over some slutty vamp. -cough- anyways, I hoped you enjoyed it, although it was pretty long and had a few grammer/spelling errors. Kisses and Unicorns to all the Malec fans~_

_~Shi-Chan_


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